Why Choices Trump Rules
Most of us don’t like being told what to do, even if we’re the ones telling ourselves what to do! Rules often come with a natural urge to break them, due to feelings of confinement and restriction.Parents deal with this exact issue all the time (well, I do!). As parents we might say “please don’t squeeze the toothpaste out like that”, and kids hear, ”squeeze your hardest!”. As adults, we do the same thing. If you say to yourself “I’m never going to eat cake or meat pies again” or “I’m not allowed to eat cake and meat pies”; do you think you might think about cake and meat pies more than you ordinarily would having now made this rule? Some people won't, but many will.Instead, you might say to yourself, “I could have a slice of cake or a meat pie if I wanted, but I’ll pass this time”. See the difference? You’ve made a choice, not followed a rule. I'm not saying you throw out your goals, but having choices is not only a more sustainable approach, it also largely reduces any guilt associated with the occasional dietary slip-up.
An all-or-nothing mentality often comes at a cost.
Now, there are of course circumstances when a person must 100% compliant with a dietary approach. For instance, even the smallest exposure to certain foods can be fatal for some with allergies. Coeliac disease is another example of zero-tolerance, in that case to gluten.But for everyone else, if following a strict dietary rule 100% of the time means you’re missing out on special gatherings/ hanging out with your friends/ travelling/ catching up on much needed rest/ exercising or spending quality time with your family; you have to ask yourself, are the benefits worth it in the long run? Is is sustainable? Is it healthy? If it is, that's great, keep going. If it's not, it's time to rethink things.Nutrition is important; of course, extremely important! However, adequate rest, a growth mindset, time in nature, social connection, volunteering and exercise can also increase health and wellbeing.
Changing your language can help.
In my humble opinion, nutrition is not black and white, and nor should it be. Rather than being “sugar free”, which implies you need to avoid ALL sugar 100% of the time, perhaps you could change your language and aim for a “low sugar” diet.Once upon a time, I was “sugar free”, “gluten free”, “dairy free” and “grain free”. During this time, when I would eat even the smallest amount of any of these things, feelings of guilt and failure would follow. The word “free” was the problem... I felt anything but "free"! For me, this was unsustainable in the long run because my choices were few and there was no wriggle room. In this instance, simply replacing “free” with “low” would have been a much healthier and more sustainable approach.
